Just two more days to wait.......hoping, praying, hoping, wishing, dreaming, hoping that this one worked. I find myself talking to the little embryo's in my uterus. You can do it! Keep growing! Hang on! I'm sure i'm not the only woman who has done this. It's crazy this whole process. I always think that by now someone should have created some technology that can be implanted to watch the progress inside me and give daily reports of the little embryo's. It sure would help with the wonder of it all.
I'm not having any pregnancy symptoms at this point, or at least I don't think I am. I'm still bloated from the egg retrieval. My ovaries have finally stopped screaming at me unless I pick something up that is more than 15lbs. Then they send a little signal to back off and then proceed to be achy for the next couple of hours just to prove their point. Thanks ladies.
I'll head into the lab on Friday morning early, probably be there before the place opens. :-)
And then we'll wait a few hours for Iowa City to get the results, all the while I'll be calling the Patient Info Line every 5 minutes wondering if they have the results. No joke.
I'm trying to avoid thinking about it not working aside from the one thought I have had: we're going to Disney if it doesn't happen. Yep, buying some fast plane tickets, booking a hotel, and heading west for a couple of days. Sounds pretty irrational to me but really what's rational about the whole dang IVF process?!!!
So, give a shout out to anyone you know asking for a little miracle to happen in our lives that makes Addie a big sister and helps our family grow.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
I learned a new word today
Well, the big day has arrived. Egg Transfer Day. We set out for Iowa City at 8:30am. Arrived at the Assisted Reproductive Office and were met by Shirley, another wonderful nurse. I changed into a gown, robe and lovely hair bonnet while Deb changed into scrubs and a matching hair bonnet. Shirley then escorted us to the OR where they would be doing the transfer. The embryologist came in to give us our fertilization report and my smile slowly began to fade. We had started out with 8 embryos fertilized and today, on day 5, we are down to 1 that is of good quality at the morula stage (just shy of being a blastocyst which is what they want it to be) and 7 that were of poor quality. The morula, should go to the blastocyst stage in the next 6-12 hours and the embryologist thought that getting it back inside of me, was it's best chance at thriving and producing a positive result.
Cue the tears. Can I just say how hard it is to listen carefully when all you want to do is lay down on the OR table and sob? Yes this is great news that we have one morula. Don't get me wrong! In my head and heart though I was so excited to get there this morning to hear about our day 5 rockstar blastocyst and then 7 others we'd be able to freeze in the event something happened. The reality is finally setting in that this is it. We are banking on 1 and then we are done. It only takes one, I know this, and all I can think of is please let this be the one.
Thank God Deb was there to really listen (this would be helpful later on the ride home when I made her run through the whole conversation again). 1 of the 7 embryos that was of poor quality was growing faster than the others though. We for sure knew that we would be transferring the good Morula but had to decide if we wanted to also transfer the poorer quality one also.
In the end, we decided to transfer the good morula and the poor but growing embryo also.
After talking to the Dr's and the Director of the Program, they all concurred that it couldn't do any harm to put both in. They confirmed that we would be using #1 and #4, I'll post pics later, and the embryologist got them ready to go in a catheter. Nurse Shirley got me set up in the stirrups. Dr. F, used an abdominal ultrasound to check for fluid in my stomach, which I'm happy to report there was minimal (see previous posts about the fear of OHSS), checked on my ovaries (his exact words were "Wow, your ovaries are HUGE"), checked to see that I had a full bladder and then Dr. Evan did a test run with an empty catheter to ensure that he would easily be able to access the top of my uterus. After the test run, Dr. Evan put the real catheter in, with our two hopes for making Addie a big sister and everyone watched as the two little bubbles came out of the catheter and bounced into my uterus. Unbelievable.
So, now we wait. We can call tomorrow to find out how the remaining 6 embryos did but were told it's very unlikely that they'll make it. For the time being, I'm on strict bedrest (get up to pee only) until tomorrow night and then very light activity until my blood pregnancy test next Friday. It seems slightly strange to ask people to pray for the attachment of an embryo but hey just going through this whole process has been strange. So, throw some positive thoughts up there, prayers, whatever you believe that next Friday, we are met with the news we hope for. :-)
Oh and the new word I learned today was Morula:
The morula, a collection of around 30 cells (blastomere), is created at about 96 hours. The name of this stage comes from its resemblance to a mulberry, since it really looks like a collection of spherical cells.
Cheers,
Mic
Deb and I right before going into the OR for the Egg Transfer
Cue the tears. Can I just say how hard it is to listen carefully when all you want to do is lay down on the OR table and sob? Yes this is great news that we have one morula. Don't get me wrong! In my head and heart though I was so excited to get there this morning to hear about our day 5 rockstar blastocyst and then 7 others we'd be able to freeze in the event something happened. The reality is finally setting in that this is it. We are banking on 1 and then we are done. It only takes one, I know this, and all I can think of is please let this be the one.
Thank God Deb was there to really listen (this would be helpful later on the ride home when I made her run through the whole conversation again). 1 of the 7 embryos that was of poor quality was growing faster than the others though. We for sure knew that we would be transferring the good Morula but had to decide if we wanted to also transfer the poorer quality one also.
In the end, we decided to transfer the good morula and the poor but growing embryo also.
After talking to the Dr's and the Director of the Program, they all concurred that it couldn't do any harm to put both in. They confirmed that we would be using #1 and #4, I'll post pics later, and the embryologist got them ready to go in a catheter. Nurse Shirley got me set up in the stirrups. Dr. F, used an abdominal ultrasound to check for fluid in my stomach, which I'm happy to report there was minimal (see previous posts about the fear of OHSS), checked on my ovaries (his exact words were "Wow, your ovaries are HUGE"), checked to see that I had a full bladder and then Dr. Evan did a test run with an empty catheter to ensure that he would easily be able to access the top of my uterus. After the test run, Dr. Evan put the real catheter in, with our two hopes for making Addie a big sister and everyone watched as the two little bubbles came out of the catheter and bounced into my uterus. Unbelievable.
So, now we wait. We can call tomorrow to find out how the remaining 6 embryos did but were told it's very unlikely that they'll make it. For the time being, I'm on strict bedrest (get up to pee only) until tomorrow night and then very light activity until my blood pregnancy test next Friday. It seems slightly strange to ask people to pray for the attachment of an embryo but hey just going through this whole process has been strange. So, throw some positive thoughts up there, prayers, whatever you believe that next Friday, we are met with the news we hope for. :-)
Oh and the new word I learned today was Morula:
The morula, a collection of around 30 cells (blastomere), is created at about 96 hours. The name of this stage comes from its resemblance to a mulberry, since it really looks like a collection of spherical cells.
Cheers,
Mic
Deb and I right before going into the OR for the Egg Transfer
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Pedialyte=GROSS!
No wonder kids often refuse to drink pedialyte when they are sick! It's gross! I get that it's so helpful but must it taste like salt water mixed with a hint of orange kool-aid? Unfortunately, 1 day post retrieval I was having some stomach issues so my mom zoomed in with Milk of Magnesia. Well, the MoM worked 180% which killed my stomach and other regions. Add the drink prescribed by Iowa City, Gatorade, and I spent more time in the bathroom than in bed. Sorry for the details. I thought that was pretty mellow, I could have been way more graphic.
:-)
A call into Iowa City this morning and they recommended pedialyte and low sodium V8. We thought we'd start with the pedialyte and save the V8 for later to add a little diversity to my diet. I do love a good bloody mary. Sadly, my mom burst my bubble and informed me that V8 tastes quite different than a bloody mary. All of this talk of Bloody Mary's sure is making me miss the Sunday Bloody Mary bar at Jefferson's in Winona.
Anywho, I drank my pedialyte and then spent an hour in the backyard watching Addie in her pool and then we set out to get some ice cream from Betty Jane's. I thought I deserved ice cream after this experience and some Gremlin ice cream would surely make me feel better. It was very yummy and I am now pooped out from all of the excitement. I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be a very long day at work. When we left the hospital on Friday, they told us it could be 3 days-1 week before I felt like my normal self. I'm really looking forward to that! Not being one to lounge around, I can see a ton of things I need to do in the house, but they all require lifting. We're also counting down to Wednesday's transfer! How exciting! We call tomorrow morning to find out what time it will be. We don't get a report on how the little 8 embryos are doing, hopefully dividing and growing. We'll find out how many made it on Wednesday when we go in. Cross your fingers! After 3 years of trying to make this happen, we are as close as we'll ever be!!
Cheers,
Mic
:-)
A call into Iowa City this morning and they recommended pedialyte and low sodium V8. We thought we'd start with the pedialyte and save the V8 for later to add a little diversity to my diet. I do love a good bloody mary. Sadly, my mom burst my bubble and informed me that V8 tastes quite different than a bloody mary. All of this talk of Bloody Mary's sure is making me miss the Sunday Bloody Mary bar at Jefferson's in Winona.
Anywho, I drank my pedialyte and then spent an hour in the backyard watching Addie in her pool and then we set out to get some ice cream from Betty Jane's. I thought I deserved ice cream after this experience and some Gremlin ice cream would surely make me feel better. It was very yummy and I am now pooped out from all of the excitement. I'm thinking tomorrow is going to be a very long day at work. When we left the hospital on Friday, they told us it could be 3 days-1 week before I felt like my normal self. I'm really looking forward to that! Not being one to lounge around, I can see a ton of things I need to do in the house, but they all require lifting. We're also counting down to Wednesday's transfer! How exciting! We call tomorrow morning to find out what time it will be. We don't get a report on how the little 8 embryos are doing, hopefully dividing and growing. We'll find out how many made it on Wednesday when we go in. Cross your fingers! After 3 years of trying to make this happen, we are as close as we'll ever be!!
Cheers,
Mic
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Impatient
Not being one to exude the patience characteristic, I called the Patient Info Line at 1:45pm. It was close enough to 2pm and lo and behold, we had a new message!! We ended up with 8 of the 21 eggs fertilizing! That means we've got 8 chances to have a baby!!! No this doesn't mean I'll be the octomom! We will go back to Iowa City on Wednesday, June 13th to have 1 or 2 of the embryos put back in and the rest will be frozen. I'll be on bedrest for 24 hours again and then we'll wait until a blood pregnancy test on Friday, June 22nd!!!
We are SO excited!!!! From the getgo we knew that a day 5 transfer was our best bet at a successful implantation and pregnancy and we got just that! If I could get out of bed I would be dancing all over the room!!!! :-)
Cheers,
Mic
We are SO excited!!!! From the getgo we knew that a day 5 transfer was our best bet at a successful implantation and pregnancy and we got just that! If I could get out of bed I would be dancing all over the room!!!! :-)
Cheers,
Mic
1 little, 2 little, 21 little eggs!
Well, my fear of having no eggs in the follicles was put to rest yesterday. Deb and I set off for the U of Iowa hospital at 6:30am for the big retrieval. We arrived and were greeted by an awesome nurse, Mary and after some paperwork, an IV was put in and I was ready for the retrieval team. Our anesthesiologist (Dr. Funny) was quite a comedian. He asked some questions and then came over to begin putting the IV in. Apparently my vein immediately popped out when I made a fist so he thought it would be funny to offer Deb the opportunity to put it in. WHAT!!! I'm certain my heart rate went through the roof as she excitedly leaned forward to take the needle. Ha ha ha they laughed and of course Deb sat back and he proceeded to put the IV in. Don't get me wrong, Deb is awesome at giving shots but her shoving a monster needle into my vein is not my idea of fun.
Next came the egg collector, I'm sure Dr. Durand has a more technical title but we'll go with this one today. They wheeled me back to a very cold surgery room where I met more comedians. Seriously, you must have to have had a shot on Last Comic Standing to work with IVF. I was then up on the table, my legs were put up into stirrups, a heated blanket was put on me and Dr. Funny started telling jokes while the egg collector sang "Rumor has it". Not kidding! The nurses joined him and I thought what on earth am I doing here. Thankfully, our awesome nurse, Mary, chatted with me a bit more and before I knew it, I was in the recovery room with Dr. Funny yelling at me to wake up. After a very groggy twenty minutes, apparently my eyes kept rolling in a ton of directions, the egg collector came in to tell us that everything had gone really well. He had a bit of trouble getting to my left ovary, surprise, surprise, I've had very painful ultrasounds in the past as they tried to find my elusive left ovary. After draining all of my follicles, the egg collector ended up with 21 great eggs. Wahoo! The eggs were sent to the lab where they were introduced to the swimmers about 4 hours later and I stayed in recovery. After about 4 hours, I was released.
With an ice cream bucket on my lap we drove home to Dubuque and I snoozed on and off feeling every bump in the road in my ovaries. I was so happy to pull into my parent's driveway where I would be on bedrest for a day or two. The first day home, I was very sore and achy. Walking back and forth to the bathroom was enough excitement for me. My nurse, AKA: Nana, was wonderful keeping track of all of the different meds and times. Deb and Addie came up to visit which made the day much, much better. Deb also got to give me another shot. This one was progesterone in oil and I will get this every day for the next 2 weeks and if we get a positive pregancy test then these will continue for up to 12 weeks dependent on my blood levels. After hearing horror stories about how painful these shots were, I was quite nervous. Honestly though, it wasn't the worst. It was certainly painful and having Deb rub the spot after the shot to help the oil disperse wasn't very fun but overall, I think i'll be able to handle these. Ask me again in a week when both of my hips are bruised and sore though. :-)
So here we are on day two waiting for 2pm to roll around when we can call the Patient Info Line to find out how our eggs are doing and how many fertilized. We'll also find out when the transfer day will be, either Monday or Wednesday. That's the crappy thing about infertility, you are always waiting, holding your breath, and hoping that it worked. I've spent most of the day in bed, aside from a trip to the front porch to cheer on the Grandview Gallopers and watch Addie run through the sprinkler. Very fun but very tiring. I'm very crampy, constipated (shout out to my girl, Alicia, I now know how you felt :-)) and bloated. Thanks to a shot of Milk of Magnesia, disgusting, things are starting to work again. The rest of the day will be spent in bed as my stomach is starting to hurt again and we are trying very hard to curb Ovarian Hyperstimulation: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ovarian-hyperstimulation-syndrome-ohss/DS01097
Avoiding water and drinking gatorade, eating protein and resting seems to be helping so far but we won't be out of the woods until after the pregnancy test and even then it can develop. The crappy thing about OHSS is that it can keep us from doing a fresh embryo transfer and it can also develop once we're pregnant so this could be an interesting next couple of weeks. The short of it is that the egg collector took all of those eggs out of my ovaries that were swollen 5 times the regular size which left two open "balloons" that my body thinks should fill with fluid. Because they fill fast, my body can't reabsorb them fast enough and the fluid leaks into my abdomen. Neat, huh?! We're being optimistic and very careful to keep it from happening beyond the mild hyperstimulation that I have.
Here's to a great egg retrieval and 21 little embryos growing! :-)
Cheers,
Mic
Next came the egg collector, I'm sure Dr. Durand has a more technical title but we'll go with this one today. They wheeled me back to a very cold surgery room where I met more comedians. Seriously, you must have to have had a shot on Last Comic Standing to work with IVF. I was then up on the table, my legs were put up into stirrups, a heated blanket was put on me and Dr. Funny started telling jokes while the egg collector sang "Rumor has it". Not kidding! The nurses joined him and I thought what on earth am I doing here. Thankfully, our awesome nurse, Mary, chatted with me a bit more and before I knew it, I was in the recovery room with Dr. Funny yelling at me to wake up. After a very groggy twenty minutes, apparently my eyes kept rolling in a ton of directions, the egg collector came in to tell us that everything had gone really well. He had a bit of trouble getting to my left ovary, surprise, surprise, I've had very painful ultrasounds in the past as they tried to find my elusive left ovary. After draining all of my follicles, the egg collector ended up with 21 great eggs. Wahoo! The eggs were sent to the lab where they were introduced to the swimmers about 4 hours later and I stayed in recovery. After about 4 hours, I was released.
With an ice cream bucket on my lap we drove home to Dubuque and I snoozed on and off feeling every bump in the road in my ovaries. I was so happy to pull into my parent's driveway where I would be on bedrest for a day or two. The first day home, I was very sore and achy. Walking back and forth to the bathroom was enough excitement for me. My nurse, AKA: Nana, was wonderful keeping track of all of the different meds and times. Deb and Addie came up to visit which made the day much, much better. Deb also got to give me another shot. This one was progesterone in oil and I will get this every day for the next 2 weeks and if we get a positive pregancy test then these will continue for up to 12 weeks dependent on my blood levels. After hearing horror stories about how painful these shots were, I was quite nervous. Honestly though, it wasn't the worst. It was certainly painful and having Deb rub the spot after the shot to help the oil disperse wasn't very fun but overall, I think i'll be able to handle these. Ask me again in a week when both of my hips are bruised and sore though. :-)
So here we are on day two waiting for 2pm to roll around when we can call the Patient Info Line to find out how our eggs are doing and how many fertilized. We'll also find out when the transfer day will be, either Monday or Wednesday. That's the crappy thing about infertility, you are always waiting, holding your breath, and hoping that it worked. I've spent most of the day in bed, aside from a trip to the front porch to cheer on the Grandview Gallopers and watch Addie run through the sprinkler. Very fun but very tiring. I'm very crampy, constipated (shout out to my girl, Alicia, I now know how you felt :-)) and bloated. Thanks to a shot of Milk of Magnesia, disgusting, things are starting to work again. The rest of the day will be spent in bed as my stomach is starting to hurt again and we are trying very hard to curb Ovarian Hyperstimulation: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ovarian-hyperstimulation-syndrome-ohss/DS01097
Avoiding water and drinking gatorade, eating protein and resting seems to be helping so far but we won't be out of the woods until after the pregnancy test and even then it can develop. The crappy thing about OHSS is that it can keep us from doing a fresh embryo transfer and it can also develop once we're pregnant so this could be an interesting next couple of weeks. The short of it is that the egg collector took all of those eggs out of my ovaries that were swollen 5 times the regular size which left two open "balloons" that my body thinks should fill with fluid. Because they fill fast, my body can't reabsorb them fast enough and the fluid leaks into my abdomen. Neat, huh?! We're being optimistic and very careful to keep it from happening beyond the mild hyperstimulation that I have.
Here's to a great egg retrieval and 21 little embryos growing! :-)
Cheers,
Mic
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Holy follicles batman
After 12 days of shots, a couple of blood draws and trips to Iowa City, I had my last ultrasound yesterday and found out that these follicles are ready for retrieval. Woot! Woot! Only slightly alarming to me is the number of follicles that have taken up residence in my ovaries. To be exact, we are at 62. Thankfully only about 20 of them meet the ideal size (18) cut off so the rest are smaller and just along for the ride. We head to Iowa City tomorrow morning around 6:30. We'll meet with an anesthesiologist, I'll get some happy drugs through an IV and then I'll drift off to sleep while the Doctors take each follicle out one by one. I'll then wake up, spend about 1.5 hours in recovery and then head home for 24 hours of bed rest. The embryologists will work their magic with the eggs by introducting them to the swimmers and hopefully a match will be made and we'll go back down to Iowa City on Monday or Wednesday so they can be taken from their little petri dish and placed back inside my uterus. I'm sure there's a more scientific way to explain it but that's pretty much it in a nutshell.
People ask often how I am feeling these days........excited, scared, excited, nervous, ANXIOUS. Oh and that's all just in my head. My body is tired, bruised, sore (I would equate it to playing in a rugby game every day for the past 12 days), and my ovaries, now 5 times the size they are supposed to be, are sending me regular messages that they are not happy about the abuse. What I'm most anxious about is 1) that there are good quality eggs inside these follicles and 2) that I will hyperstimulate. #2 has been on my brain constantly and I keep trying to forget about it and then it pops back in. Hyperstimulation can be very serious and critical and fluid builds in your abdomen and can cause all kinds of problems. One of the main risk factors for hyperstimulation: PCOS. If you recall, PCOS is the reason we are at Iowa City in the first place. The Dr's have already told me that I will hyperstimulate because of the # of follicles I have and the PCOS. What they don't know is how severe it will be. Hmmmm....can you understand why I might be nervous? Severe abdominal pain, difficulty breathing, etc. Not something I'd like to experience anytime soon. I do remind myself daily though that Iowa City has it under control and we will know it's happening as it's happening so hopefully we can keep it under control. Oh and the other crappy part about it is that if it does happen, and dependent on the degree, they would not be able to put the embryos back in. They would need to freeze them and then once my body has recovered, they could do a frozen transfer.
So, on to happier details.....I've been thinking about the funny/strange parts of this experience so far and thought I'd share a few:
During my last ultrasound, there was a person being trained by our favorite ultrasound tech, Sarah. Imagine having Ellen Degeneres as your ultrasound tech. She's hysterical. Witty and totally personable. So as Sarah is probing around measuring all of the follicles, I say to the trainee: "You know, you are being trained by the best. Sarah is a rock star". Sarah without hesitation responds with "Oh she's just saying that because I have a probe in her vagina". Needless to say, all three of us were laughing so hard that I honestly thought I was going to pee on Sarah. No worries though, I held it in. :-)
Last night, I needed to get the trigger shot. This med helps the eggs release from the follicles and it's no where fun, my ass. So Deb is at a conference in Minneapolis and my mom insists on giving it to me. We wait for the alarm to go off at 10:45pm and I start mixing up the med. My mom is resting in my bed as I do this and I call for her to help me with it. Well, apparently she had been in my room psyching herself up to give me the shot as I was reading and re-reading the instructions 100 times as to not screw it up. Nice. Thankfully she informed me of that this morning or I would have drove myself out to Epworth to have our wonderful nurse friend, Sue give me the shot. We then go in and she gets set to give me the shot, she pulls off the cap, looks at the size of the needle and looks like she is going to throw up. Awesome. I lay on my side, close my eyes and tell her to go ahead. I wait. I wait. I look up and see her pull the shot back in a dart like motion, take a deep breath, puff out her cheeks, look again like she's totally uncertain and then stick.....she puts the needle in. This is not shot giving 101 people. My mom gives shots all the time in peoples mouths in her job. Apparently the size of the needles and the fact it was going in her daughter who was doing everything she could to not cry made her a little unsure about this. Thankfully she pulled through, the meds went in, she massaged my ass and we both laughed. The things you do for your kids! Thanks mom!
I'll end this by sharing two pics of my lovely ovaries. The circles you see are the follicles that hopefully have rock star eggs in them. The one on top is my right that has most of the follicles and they've become oblong because they are running out of space. Keep your fingers crossed and throw some prayers out there tomorrow around 9:30am for an easy embryo retrieval and recovery.
Cheers,
Mic
People ask often how I am feeling these days........excited, scared, excited, nervous, ANXIOUS. Oh and that's all just in my head. My body is tired, bruised, sore (I would equate it to playing in a rugby game every day for the past 12 days), and my ovaries, now 5 times the size they are supposed to be, are sending me regular messages that they are not happy about the abuse. What I'm most anxious about is 1) that there are good quality eggs inside these follicles and 2) that I will hyperstimulate. #2 has been on my brain constantly and I keep trying to forget about it and then it pops back in. Hyperstimulation can be very serious and critical and fluid builds in your abdomen and can cause all kinds of problems. One of the main risk factors for hyperstimulation: PCOS. If you recall, PCOS is the reason we are at Iowa City in the first place. The Dr's have already told me that I will hyperstimulate because of the # of follicles I have and the PCOS. What they don't know is how severe it will be. Hmmmm....can you understand why I might be nervous? Severe abdominal pain, difficulty breathing, etc. Not something I'd like to experience anytime soon. I do remind myself daily though that Iowa City has it under control and we will know it's happening as it's happening so hopefully we can keep it under control. Oh and the other crappy part about it is that if it does happen, and dependent on the degree, they would not be able to put the embryos back in. They would need to freeze them and then once my body has recovered, they could do a frozen transfer.
So, on to happier details.....I've been thinking about the funny/strange parts of this experience so far and thought I'd share a few:
During my last ultrasound, there was a person being trained by our favorite ultrasound tech, Sarah. Imagine having Ellen Degeneres as your ultrasound tech. She's hysterical. Witty and totally personable. So as Sarah is probing around measuring all of the follicles, I say to the trainee: "You know, you are being trained by the best. Sarah is a rock star". Sarah without hesitation responds with "Oh she's just saying that because I have a probe in her vagina". Needless to say, all three of us were laughing so hard that I honestly thought I was going to pee on Sarah. No worries though, I held it in. :-)
Last night, I needed to get the trigger shot. This med helps the eggs release from the follicles and it's no where fun, my ass. So Deb is at a conference in Minneapolis and my mom insists on giving it to me. We wait for the alarm to go off at 10:45pm and I start mixing up the med. My mom is resting in my bed as I do this and I call for her to help me with it. Well, apparently she had been in my room psyching herself up to give me the shot as I was reading and re-reading the instructions 100 times as to not screw it up. Nice. Thankfully she informed me of that this morning or I would have drove myself out to Epworth to have our wonderful nurse friend, Sue give me the shot. We then go in and she gets set to give me the shot, she pulls off the cap, looks at the size of the needle and looks like she is going to throw up. Awesome. I lay on my side, close my eyes and tell her to go ahead. I wait. I wait. I look up and see her pull the shot back in a dart like motion, take a deep breath, puff out her cheeks, look again like she's totally uncertain and then stick.....she puts the needle in. This is not shot giving 101 people. My mom gives shots all the time in peoples mouths in her job. Apparently the size of the needles and the fact it was going in her daughter who was doing everything she could to not cry made her a little unsure about this. Thankfully she pulled through, the meds went in, she massaged my ass and we both laughed. The things you do for your kids! Thanks mom!
Cheers,
Mic
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Naps
I'm starting to think that these hormone shots are trying to prepare me for pregnancy. Well, duh of course they are Mic, but in addition to being highly sensitive, I am also extremely tired. This is not a side effect that I expected. Reading up on them, it makes sense though with all of my hormone levels being mega-tized. Picture the emotions surrounding that glorious week each month and amplify those by 100. Now drain all of the energy out of your body. Good work, you now have a sense of how I am feeling. I'm not complaining, just surprised at all of the changes in my body. Today we had a great morning with Nana and Papa at the Albrecht Acres Pancake Breakfast. We then took a surprise roadtrip to the Cassville Ferry for a cruise across the Might Mississippi and then back home. By the time we got home, Addie was ready for a nap and I was right there with her. Unfortunately for Deb, I crashed out immeditely until 3:45pm and Addie skipped her nap. Even after sleeping for 3+hours, I am still tired. Not too tired though to catch the latest episode of Sister Wives which I just realized started 9 minutes ago so I better jet.
Cheers,
Mic
Cheers,
Mic
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Meltdown City
Saturday, June 2-
Well, I suppose you thought this post was going to be about Addison and her 3.5 year old meltdowns. I wish that were the case. Unfortunately.....I have been the meltdown queen. I suppose with the amount of hormones that are injected into me daily, this is understandable, but yikes. For those that come in contact with me, tread lightly or you'll likely see the waterworks start up. Just kidding but do heed this as a mild warning, it's possible. :-)
Meltdown #1- yesterday. 6pm rolled around and my phone alarm went off. Deb got all of the shots ready to go and started giving them to me. For some reason, the Follistim shot in my stomach really hurt, I would liken it to a stabbing feeling. As soon as Deb gave it to me she realized that the full dosage wasn't in the pen and we would need to start a new pen with a new med cartridge. Cue the tears. Instead of 3 shots, I got 4. She had to wait until I had stopped sobbing to do the last two. During this whole time, Addie is sitting by my side, holding my hand and telling me "it's okay mama". She was so sweet and reassuring and of course it was okay I just couldn't find the switch to halt the tears.
Meltdown #2- 1:30 this morning. I woke up thinking about today's ultrasound. After so many years of disappointments, I panicked thinking the follicles weren't growing. I burst into tears. 3am rolled around and I finally found the switch and fell back asleep only to have the alarm go off at 5 for our 8:15 appointment in Iowa City.
Meltdown #3- 11:30am this morning. On our way back from Iowa city after our appointments. Driving along highway 1, I burst into tears. Thinking about our appointment and how the follicles are growing is very exciting. The tears though were from remembering that Deb is going to be gone presenting at a conference next week for 2 days. At any other point in our lives this would be totally fine but I being the worrier, am a wee bit scared about having too many follicles grow and having a condition call ovarian hyperstimulation. The nurse today told us that it is likely that I will have some hyperstimulation but all I could think of in the car is, Deb is going to be gone. I can't lift more than 15 lbs, (Addie is 34). I have an ultrasound on Tuesday morning which is the same time Deb leaves for her conference. What if they give me important information and I can't remember it. Deb is our family expert on things medically related. In the end, everything will be fine. I have plenty of family and friends nearby that can help in a pinch. Likely, I just need a prescription for anxiety meds to get through this. I did ask the nurse about this and she laughed. Apparently this is all pretty typical for those undergoing IVF.
On to the good news. The good news is that the follicles are growing. There are currently 22 on my left ovary and 28 on my right. No worries. I will not be turning into the next octomom. Not all 50 of these follicles will continue to grow nor do they all have eggs.
Right now they are watching 11 of them that have grown to the appropriate size for where we are in the process. There will likely be more that will catch up. They've increased my Follistim back to 150 because they are growing a wee bit slower than they wanted but they have to be careful with me because of my PCOS. Heaven knows we do not want all of the 50 growing to maturity....that would be uber dangerous for me. I also had another blood draw with an estradiol level of 578. For those who like math, I have had the following:
Well, time to rest for a bit and catch a late afternoon lifetime movie. I'm sure that will do wonders for my crying issues. :-)
Well, I suppose you thought this post was going to be about Addison and her 3.5 year old meltdowns. I wish that were the case. Unfortunately.....I have been the meltdown queen. I suppose with the amount of hormones that are injected into me daily, this is understandable, but yikes. For those that come in contact with me, tread lightly or you'll likely see the waterworks start up. Just kidding but do heed this as a mild warning, it's possible. :-)
Meltdown #1- yesterday. 6pm rolled around and my phone alarm went off. Deb got all of the shots ready to go and started giving them to me. For some reason, the Follistim shot in my stomach really hurt, I would liken it to a stabbing feeling. As soon as Deb gave it to me she realized that the full dosage wasn't in the pen and we would need to start a new pen with a new med cartridge. Cue the tears. Instead of 3 shots, I got 4. She had to wait until I had stopped sobbing to do the last two. During this whole time, Addie is sitting by my side, holding my hand and telling me "it's okay mama". She was so sweet and reassuring and of course it was okay I just couldn't find the switch to halt the tears.
Meltdown #2- 1:30 this morning. I woke up thinking about today's ultrasound. After so many years of disappointments, I panicked thinking the follicles weren't growing. I burst into tears. 3am rolled around and I finally found the switch and fell back asleep only to have the alarm go off at 5 for our 8:15 appointment in Iowa City.
Meltdown #3- 11:30am this morning. On our way back from Iowa city after our appointments. Driving along highway 1, I burst into tears. Thinking about our appointment and how the follicles are growing is very exciting. The tears though were from remembering that Deb is going to be gone presenting at a conference next week for 2 days. At any other point in our lives this would be totally fine but I being the worrier, am a wee bit scared about having too many follicles grow and having a condition call ovarian hyperstimulation. The nurse today told us that it is likely that I will have some hyperstimulation but all I could think of in the car is, Deb is going to be gone. I can't lift more than 15 lbs, (Addie is 34). I have an ultrasound on Tuesday morning which is the same time Deb leaves for her conference. What if they give me important information and I can't remember it. Deb is our family expert on things medically related. In the end, everything will be fine. I have plenty of family and friends nearby that can help in a pinch. Likely, I just need a prescription for anxiety meds to get through this. I did ask the nurse about this and she laughed. Apparently this is all pretty typical for those undergoing IVF.
On to the good news. The good news is that the follicles are growing. There are currently 22 on my left ovary and 28 on my right. No worries. I will not be turning into the next octomom. Not all 50 of these follicles will continue to grow nor do they all have eggs.
Right now they are watching 11 of them that have grown to the appropriate size for where we are in the process. There will likely be more that will catch up. They've increased my Follistim back to 150 because they are growing a wee bit slower than they wanted but they have to be careful with me because of my PCOS. Heaven knows we do not want all of the 50 growing to maturity....that would be uber dangerous for me. I also had another blood draw with an estradiol level of 578. For those who like math, I have had the following:
- 3 Ultrasounds
- 5 blood draws
- 18 shots of leuprolide
- 12 shots of follistim
- 6 shots of menopur
- An estradiol level that over the course of a week went from 20-578.
Well, time to rest for a bit and catch a late afternoon lifetime movie. I'm sure that will do wonders for my crying issues. :-)
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